A Selfish Rant

It's been a few days since I've posted and there's a good reason why - computer issues - need I say more?  We have a desktop computer that I use a lot.  My husband has a small netbook he uses for work and we have our phones.  That's pretty much it.  There's just not money in the budget to have all kinds of gadgets.  We did get our kids small tablets for Christmas but they've managed to break them already. Now that I've told you a little history, let me bring you to the present. 

Our computer will randomly reboot itself.  I didn't totally realize it was doing this at first.  Then it started shutting off while I was on it and in the middle of something. Then one day I couldn't get it to even start.  I've managed to get it to reboot long enough to do a backup....after three tries. We are going to have to go computer shopping and we don't have the money, not right now. I get so tried of "not having the money". I know there are things we could change to help that and I also know there are things that can't change.  Plus you can't predict everything. It literally wears me out. 

Things seem to always hit at the same time too.  Does that happen to anyone else? This winter we had things happen every single week for quite a few weeks.  One of those weeks something happened every single day - EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm talking everything from having to get new running shoes for my cross country runner (he was busting out of his) to having a kid with strep to our ceiling leaking to having our washer crap out on us. The cheapest thing we had was still $100. So ridiculous! Now we have taxes to pay and a broken computer.  I'm just waiting for more now. I'm SO, SO very tired of it. 

Today I woke up in a mood, it's not PMS and I'm not sure how to describe it, but I'm in a mood.  I don't want to go anywhere or do anything (which isn't necessarily all that odd for me but this is different). I don't know what to do and I'm tired of trying to figure out how to "fix" things or get by for now. I can't begin to describe my thoughts and feelings right now, I'm all over the place.  I've never felt like this before.  I've been devastated, frustrated to tears, screaming, crying, but this is a whole new thing.

And before anyone can say anything - I know there are people dealing with worse - I KNOW. That doesn't mean things can't suck for me too. If I don't have the best me, I can't help anyone else.

I realize there is no point to this post, other than an small explanation about why I haven't blogged but it feels good to rant a little and get the random thoughts out there. No clue when we'll get a new computer but it will have to be soon. You just can't get far without one any more. Plus I have kids that have to use one for school, coupons that have to be printed and blog posts that need to be done.  You can only do so much at the library. 

If you've made it this far, thanks for "listening". I will definitely be more positive - I hope! - in my next post!

Blessings to you all and may you never wake up in a "mood".  :)